


Men were deceivers ever

by ManiLea



Category: DCU, Justice League (2017)
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, Shakespeare, Universe Alteration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-02-28 19:15:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13278126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManiLea/pseuds/ManiLea
Summary: The Justice League get together at Wayne Manor. Batman and Superman won't stop bickering, Cyborg has a crush on the Flash, Wonder Woman wants to play Cupid and Alfred is still trying to get hold of Aquaman. It's Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing.





	1. The savage bull doth bear the yoke

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Much Ado About Nothing](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/348993) by William Shakespeare. 



> The basis for the characters and setting is the Justice League (2017) film, but some universe alterations have been made to fit the plot:  
> \- The Batcave is below Wayne Manor, not the Glasshouse.  
> \- The members were introduced to each other by their superhero identities and are not all familiar with each others' civilian identities.  
> \- Lex Luthor is not yet known to the team as a villain.

Bruce watched Barry finish his third set of pull-ups. He had been stronger than he looked from the beginning, but under Bruce’s training regime, his muscles had become more defined and his shoulders were noticeably broader.

Barry dropped to the floor and wiped his head with a towel.

“Good work. Next time try it with the weight.”

Barry pointed to the chair-sized iron ball and chain in the corner of the room and his mouth hung open. “That weight?!”

Alfred’s soft footsteps sounded on the concrete floor. “Master Wayne, you’ve received an email from Wonder Woman. She’s been fighting mutinous robots in Quebec with Superman and Cyborg. They’re on their way here.”

“Any success?”

“They disabled the lot. She’s particularly pleased with the Cyborg. It was wise to recruit him.”

“And I suppose Superman is still living?”

“Of course. He and Cyborg have become good friends.”

“Unfortunate for Cyborg.”

Alfred shook his head. “They’ll be here in a few hours. You’d better get ready.”

“I’ll try to get hold of Aquaman too. Might as well use this opportunity to have a team meeting,” Bruce clapped Barry on the shoulder. “Take a shower and put your uniform on.”

There was only one place that Bruce could contact in the hope of reaching the Aquaman – the remote Icelandic tavern where they had first met. He left a message on the answerphone in his Batman voice telling them that the Aquaman was urgently needed in Gotham City. It wasn’t urgent, but he didn’t think Aquaman would come otherwise.

Bruce put on the Batsuit and joined Alfred and Barry in the entrance hall of Wayne Manor. Alfred wore a full morning suit and white gloves, and Barry was dressed head to toe in scarlet.

Alfred pulled open the heavy double doors. Wonder Woman came up the steps with Superman and Cyborg close behind her. She grasped Alfred’s hand warmly. 

“Thank you for hosting us at such short notice. I hope it’s not any trouble.”

“You could never cause any trouble to me.”

“I thought you would be interested to hear about our encounter in Quebec,” she said to Bruce. “And perhaps help me work out who is behind it.”

“Good. I am interested. If the Aquaman makes it here too, we can have a full Justice League meeting. The Flash has already been staying with me due to personal circumstances.”

“Careful, Flash,” said Superman. “Or you’ll be in a Robin suit before you know it.”

Alfred laughed nervously. “That’s just for boys. The Flash is a fully fledged member of the team, of course.”

“So, a fully fledged robin. Not a baby robin.”

Bruce scowled. “Why are you still talking?”

“Cheer up, Batman. A smile won’t break your face.”

“Listening to your bullshit might. It’s just as well that you’re usually high up in the sky, or people might discover how dim you are.”

“I show my face to people and talk to them, unlike you. They appreciate that.”

“You appreciate it because you adore the attention. No one wants to see a man in tights in broad daylight. I mean, think of the children.”

Alfred called out, “Please come this way! Lunch is laid out in the dining room, so I hope you’ve brought your appetites.”

*

Clark was about to follow Diana through the wide arch at the back of the hall when he felt Victor’s iron grip on his arm.

“Hey, what do you think of the Flash?”

“What about him?”

“He’s cute, don’t you think?”

“Sure. Big eyes and looks like he’s about run off at any second. Cute like a bunny rabbit.”

“No, I don’t mean like that. He’s gorgeous.”

Clark threw him a funny look. “This is the Justice League, not your local night club. We’ve got work to do.”

“Yeah, but we’ve dealt with those robots and now I can’t help thinking how nice it would be to spend time with someone special.”

“I don’t see much special about a skinny hyperactive kid – especially when he’s standing next to the Batman.”

Diana came back through the archway. “What are you two gossiping about? Come, the lunch buffet looks delicious.”

“This one fancies the Flash,” said Clark.

Diana’s eyes lit up. “That’s wonderful, Victor.”

“Are you serious? We’re here to protect the world. This is a distraction.”

“The world can always do with more love.”

“You mean that?” Victor asked Diana. “Do you think I should go for it?”

“He is a sweet guy and you would make a lovely couple.”

“No!” Clark shook a finger at them. “No couples!”

“It would do you good to find someone too,” replied Diana.

“You’ve lost your minds. I’m going to get lunch.”

When Clark was gone, Victor said, “How should I go about it? I’m not good at expressing my feelings. I’ve never done this before.”

“I will help you. I just learnt that Batman and the Flash have a prior engagement for this evening. I believe it is the same party which we were invited to – the one at Lex Luthor’s house. They will assume their civilian identities there. We’ll go too, and I will take the Flash – Barry – aside. I’ll find out what he thinks of you.”

“You’re the best, Diana.”


	2. Speak low if you speak love

Diana wove through two large rooms packed with guests. It looked like Lex Luthor had invited every person he knew, from his closest business partners to the principal of his old high school.

She had instructed Victor to keep a low profile, because even a full evening suit and bowler hat could not completely disguise him. Clark had been assigned the task of keeping Bruce Wayne occupied so that he wouldn’t walk in on Diana speaking to Barry and spoil everything.

The third of Luthor’s rooms was dimly lit and the music was a little louder. She spotted a slim young man with dark hair and darting eyes standing by the drinks table and bobbing awkwardly to the music.

Diana sidled up to him. “Have you seen the enormous gin fountain in the other room? Marvellous.”

Barry looked relieved to have someone to talk to, but then he saw her more closely and frowned. “Hang on, you’re–?”

“Diana Prince.” She offered her hand and he shook it.

“Barry Allen.”

“I love this song, Barry. Will you dance with me?”

*

There were a number of people at the party that Bruce Wayne might have been interested in talking to, but he was not. He was moving through the guests as if intent on a destination, but Clark suspected that he was inspecting the guests themselves as well as Luthor’s house.

Clark cut in front of him and held out his hand. “Clark Kent, Daily Planet.” Bruce shook it coolly. “What do you say to accusations that Wayne Enterprises is tipping chemical waste into Gotham River?”

“Who gave you that idea? First I’ve heard of it.”

“I can’t reveal my sources, Mr Wayne.”

“It must have been from that protest against Superman. I hear people up and down the country are colouring lakes and rivers a luminous green – you know, as if it’s kryptonite. It’s to say they don’t want his help. Understandable, really.”

“Understandable? Why?”

“Well, for every person he saves, he tears apart whole streets in the process. He doesn’t stop to think about the lives that depend on those, because no one sees those lives. The camera is on him, and that’s how he likes it.”

“The Daily Planet would report those grievances if that were the case.”

“The Daily Planet would not, because they are afraid to speak out against him. The truth is, everyone humours and applauds Superman for what he does, even though they would much rather he was out of the way, so they could put their skills to use and respond proportionately. But who knows what the cost of his anger would be? He is no better than a clown who continues his performance in the hope of being funny when all the children at his feet are crying for their mothers.”

“You clearly aren’t afraid to speak out against him,” said Clark.

Bruce smiled. “Are you going to quote me? I have a thing or two to say about those cult-like fans of his…”

*

Victor stood on the balcony overlooking the ballroom. He caught sight of Diana swaying to the music with a young man. It was the first time he had seen the Flash without his helmet, but he knew him from his his pose and his movements. His dark hair contrasted with his pale skin and his cheekbones were high and sharp. He was even more handsome than Victor had imagined him to be.

When the league had first formed, they had talked and joked with one another. Victor had liked him then, but had been too overwhelmed by his developing powers and the critical task ahead to really consider his relationships with the other extraordinary members of the team.

Someone came up behind him. It was the clammy-faced, red-haired host, Lex Luthor.

“What are you doing up here all alone, my man?”

“Just… getting some space.”

“Aha,” Lex laughed in his odd way. “Your friends got you to hide up here. Cleared you from view. How convenient. How very convenient for them.”

“What are you talking about?”

Lex followed Victor’s gaze to the swaying Diana and Barry. Diana was smiling and whispering in Barry’s ear. “Beautiful couple, aren’t they? They look so beautiful. And so human.”

He left Victor’s side, but his words lingered. Why had Diana been so eager to seduce Barry for him? And it was more than likely that Barry would be so taken with the charming Diana that he wouldn’t think twice about a Cyborg.

Victor turned on his heel and ran down the stairs. As he turned into the main hallway, Clark came out from another room and caught up to him.

“Victor! Wait! Where are you going?”

“Back to the manor.”

“Why? Diana’s got your Flash.”

Victor strode out the front of the house into the driveway. “I hope they’re very happy together.”

“What? Do you really think Diana would do that to you?”

Victor shot into the dark sky. Clark shook his head and flew after him.

*

A light was on at the back of Wayne Manor. Diana and Barry followed it through to the conservatory, but its occupant wasn’t Victor. It was Clark in his Superman guise, idly prodding and sniffing the array of tropical plants.

“You were supposed to find Victor,” said Diana.

“I did, but he wouldn’t listen to me. He seems to think that the two of you hooked up, and went off sulking.”

“Bruce found us out, after all, and brought us back here. By the way, he’s got a bone to pick with you. A journalist named Clark Kent was very rude to him.”

Diana thought she saw Clark’s eyes flash red. “He insulted me! Not knowing who I was, he went on about how Superman’s only supporters are fanatical types who want to start their own Superman religion and that I’ll be the cause of the next holy war. And that the common man hates me because I make him feel helpless, and that the authorities hate me because my actions are disproportionate, and in short the world would be better off without me.”

Just then, Bruce and a sour-faced Victor entered the conservatory.

“I found him,” said Bruce. He saw Superman, looked him up and down and smirked. “You changed quick. Clark Kent.”

“You knew?!” Clark turned to Diana and pressed his hands together. “Please say you have work for me elsewhere. I will go and shut down all the nuclear power plants in the world, I’ll go to Mars to look for water, I’ll even go to the underworld to meet Hades. Anything, anything is better than being around this poisonous, manipulative fucker for another second.”

“Sorry, we need you here.”

Clark barged past Bruce on his way out, knocking him into the wall. Bruce rubbed his head.

“If you want this Justice League, you’d better learn to hold your tongue,” said Diana severely.

“He’d do the same to me,” muttered Bruce.

Diana pushed Barry towards Victor. “No need to look so sad. Barry feels the same way about you.”

“Do you really want to be my boyfriend?” asked Barry, his eyes shining.

“I – I’d like that more than anything.”

“Wow. I’ve never had a boyfriend before. We can be Barrytor. Or Victorry? Wait, how about… Cyberflash?”

Bruce sat down on the wicker settee and put his head in his hands. “Just kiss him and make him shut up.”

Victor placed his arms around Barry’s waist and kissed him.

Diana sat next to Bruce and whispered to him conspiratorially, “I think you are a romantic at heart. Wouldn’t you like to find love too?”

“What would I do with that? Lock him up in the Batcave forever, so my enemies can’t get at him? No. Unless _you_ had a brother exactly like yourself. Then I might consider it.”

Alfred came in. “Aquaman received your message. He’s on his way. We might be able to expect him tomorrow.”

“Then we’ll give him until tomorrow and if he still doesn’t show up, we’ll have the meeting without him,” said Bruce. He checked his watch. “Time for a walk around Gotham.”

Diana watched him go. “He’s not half as hard-hearted as he wants everyone to believe.”

“No, indeed. There’s a child in need of love in him,” said Alfred.

“Superman can give him that love.”

Alfred chuckled. “They’d kill each other within a day.”

“I’m quite serious. I intend to undertake one of Hercules’ labours and get Batman and Superman to confess their love for one another. It might involve a trick or two, but I think it can be done if you three help me.”

“Sure, I will,” said Victor.

“I’m in if you’re in,” said Barry, and kissed Victor again.


	3. Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps

Clark had conveniently hidden himself in the library. Diana had seen him sneak in while the rest of them were on their way to breakfast. He was unimpressed by Victor and Barry’s puppy love and probably hoped to avoid Bruce altogether until the meeting took place. Bruce had left the table early to catch up on sleep after a long night in Gotham, and Barry was still gorging on croissants and eggs, so Diana motioned for Victor and Alfred to follow her. 

In the library, a dusty curtain had been partially drawn over a window-seat and a red-booted foot was peeking out from behind it. Diana stood at a table with her back to the curtain.

“Is it really true, Alfred? Bruce is in love with Superman?”

A soft thud came from behind the curtain.

“Yes –” Alfred didn’t seem to know what else to say.

“I just can’t picture Batman in love. And with Superman of all people,” said Victor.

“Never thought I’d see the day either, but there’s no mistaking it. Mr Allen saw what he was like. Didn’t he tell you?”

“He told me,” replied Victor.

“Why, what did he do?” asked Diana. There was a pause. “Is he going to tell Clark?”

“Oh no. Like Barry was saying, they’ve been acting like enemies since they first knew about each other. How can Bruce suddenly tell Clark he loves him?”

“Yes, exactly,” Alfred nodded vigorously. “My master can be brash, but you both know that’s a sort of defence mechanism. He’s worse with Superman because he has such strong feelings for him. While you were all asleep this morning, he was pacing up and down, trying to work out how to improve things between them. He concluded that Superman would never stop trying to belittle him in one way or another, and that it was better to suffer in silence than to ever tell him how he really feels.”

“We should tell Clark if Bruce won’t.”

“How would that help?” Victor asked. “Clark is a great guy, but he can be really clueless about these things. He’d reject Bruce right away and make fun of him every time they met.”

Diana sighed. “Clark is a fool if he does not see how remarkable Bruce is. He is only human, yet he has the intelligence, courage and skill to fight beside us and even lead us. If only Bruce were in love with me – I would take him up in a heartbeat.” 

“I suppose my master will remain unrequited, then,” said Alfred dryly.

“I’m afraid so,” said Diana. “I’d better come with you and tell Bruce that the sooner he gets over Clark the better it will be for him and for all of us.”

They didn’t dare to say any more on the conversation, even when they were far down the corridor, but they could barely suppress the laughter in their faces. Clark would fall for it hook, line and sinker.

*

Barry heard the front doors of Wayne Manor slam open. He hoped to find Alfred or Diana, but standing in the entrance hall was the bare-chested, tattooed Atlantean prince.

“Arthur! You’re finally here.”

“Yeah. So, what’s the emergency?”

“I have a very special task for you. You are going to help me trick Batman into thinking that Superman is in love with him.”

“You’re kidding. I didn’t come all this way for that.”

“We also have a team meeting, but that’s only going to happen if we can stop Batman and Superman wanting to kill each other.”

“And your solution is to make them think they love each other?”

“Just come with me.”

Barry hurriedly explained what they had to do while they descended into the Batcave. He had doubts that he and Arthur were a shrewd or tactful enough team to pull it off, but he didn’t want to lose the opportunity of catching Bruce alone.

A repeated clinking, like the sound of a smaller hammer on glass, could be heard in the laboratory. There were enough large pieces of machinery obscuring the workbenches that they could pretend to not see Bruce. Barry and Arthur loitered at one end of the long echoing chamber.

“Such a relief that you’re here. Victor just told me something that blew my mind. Oh! Me and Victor are together now.”

“Right,” Arthur frowned at him. The conversation had already derailed. “I don’t need to hear the details of your love life.”

“That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about, anyway,” Barry spoke in a hushed but audible tone. “Victor told me that Superman is completely besotted with Bruce.”

The clinking noise stopped.

“Huh. Why’s that?”

“Beats me. Bruce is such an asshole to him. I love Bruce – he’s been such a good friend to me – but when it comes to Superman his nasty side comes out.”

“Because he’s jealous?”

“Or threatened. Bruce has too much pride. He has to be able to do what anyone else in the team can do, but he’ll never match Superman’s strength or abilities. He has a hard time accepting that.”

“None of us can do what Superman can do. We accept it.”

“He’s the best man all round – except for my Victor, of course. He’s kind, thoughtful, modest and puts everyone before himself. I wish Bruce would get off his high horse and see that. Superman deserves love more than anyone. It’s just too bad that his heart is set on Bruce.”

“He’d rip Clark to pieces if he knew.”

“That’s what I said to Victor. I told him that Bruce has shut himself off to love. Clark doesn’t stand a chance. He’ll have to move on or somehow suppress his feelings.”

“Poor guy.”

“Yep. So, the others will be happy to see you. They must be in the lounge. I thought they’d be down here. Let’s go and say hi.”

*

As the first of Bruce Wayne’s guests, Barry had been given the master guest suite with a view over the rose gardens at the back of the house. He had raved about the 4K Ultra HD, 50 inch screen in the room and Victor had offered to put on the latest season of Barry’s favourite K-drama. They were supposed to watch it together that evening. Victor had been thinking about it all day, and he didn’t really care about the K-drama.

At eight-thirty the door to the suite was wide open and no one was inside. Victor hadn’t seen Barry since dinner, but he’d spent the last hour in the Batcave with Batman hacking the computer system of a criminal gang. 

He went downstairs and found Alfred and Diana laughing at Clark in the conservatory. Rough stubble was covering Clark’s normally clean-shaven jaw and there was a whiff of strong musky cologne about him.

“Can’t a man change his style?” said Clark impatiently.

“He’s after something,” said Diana to Alfred.

“Money?”

“He’s trying to impress someone,” said Victor, smiling. 

Diana and Alfred sniggered.

“It can’t be that he’s in love,” said Diana. “He just loves his cover, and we know someone broke that last night.”

“Have any of you seen Barry?” Victor asked.

“No, but there was a telephone call for him after dinner,” said Alfred.

“What was it about?”

“I don’t pry, Mr Stone.”

_I’m not above prying_ , thought Victor. _I’m built to pry_. At the same time he shrank from the idea of hacking Barry’s phone. Their relationship was so new and he didn’t want to lose Barry’s trust.

“Who do you think he will be dressed as tomorrow?” asked Diana.

“The Aquaman?” suggested Alfred.

“Clark, you must find a way to grow your hair overnight. And visit a tattoo parlour.”

Just then, Arthur walked in. “Talking about me?” 

Diana, Alfred and Victor burst into laughter. Clark stood up. “Yes, you can entertain these children for the rest of the evening. I’m going to bed. I’m not feeling well.”

“Would you believe it? Even Superman suffers from lovesickness,” said Arthur. Clark glared at him on his way out.

A text message suddenly came through Victor’s own line: ‘At the back of the house you may find your hat and an incensing but invaluable piece of insight.’ It was transmitted from Luthor Mansion.

His hat – the bowler hat he had borrowed from Bruce. It had fallen off while he had made his exit from Luthor’s party and he had forgotten about it until he’d had to return the rest of the suit. Victor read the message aloud.

“I have no idea what that second part is about, but I’m going over there.”

“We should come with you, just in case,” said Diana.


	4. There is some strange misprison

Rain began to fall as Victor, Diana and Arthur walked around the side of Luthor’s mansion. Arthur lifted a hand to his eyes and squinted through the twilight. On the other side of the hedgerow was a river.

“I’m gonna see where that goes.”

“See you, then.” 

Victor brushed water from his head and jogged to the cover of the back porch. The light was on in the hall and the glass doors were unlocked, but no one was there. The bowler hat was on a side table. He took it and walked back out.

All the other windows at the back of the mansion were dark, except for one on the second floor of the tower in front of them. Something in the window flashed like a bolt of lightning.

Victor started. “That looks like–”

He and Diana stood underneath the window. A pretty black-haired woman appeared behind it, wearing a satin chemise that barely covered her rear. She was speaking to someone. Then she pulled the slim figure of a young man into view and pushed his back to the window. He wore a scarlet body suit. Silica-based quartz sand fabric. The woman wrapped her legs around him. His hands slipped under her chemise.

Victor stared at Diana in horror. “…Barry?”

Diana’s eyes creased in sympathy. “I’m so sorry, Victor.”

“He won’t get away with this.”

*

By the time Arthur re-emerged on the riverbank behind Luthor’s mansion it was almost twelve. Victor and Diana were nowhere in sight, but a slender Asian woman was smoking on the back porch.

He crouched behind the hedgerow. The others had been talking about the party all day and he wondered if he should introduce himself as a friend of Bruce Wayne. Then again, people didn’t take kindly to large, wet, half-naked men lurking on their property in the middle of the night.

A man came out onto the porch. It was Lex Luthor.

“Where’s your puppet?”

“Sent him away when I was done with him,” She stubbed her cigarette out on the wall. “My payment?”

“First, what am I’m paying you for? Did he see you?”

“Two of them did. They were right outside the window. They didn’t see his face. I made sure of that. This is the way to dispose of the Justice League, Mr Luthor. No weapons. You destroy them from the inside.”

Luthor drew a wad of cash from the inside of his jacket and gave it to her. “You can have another quarter of that if you return the silica suit.”

“It’s in my room.”

They went inside together. Arthur turned and dived into the river. It flowed far enough in the direction of Gotham that it was his fastest route back.

Wayne Manor was dark and still when he arrived. Everyone had gone to bed or were in their rooms. Arthur took the elevator down to the Batcave and was relieved to find Bruce at his computer.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“What about?” replied Bruce, without looking up.

“I was at Luthor Mansion just now. Did Cyborg tell you he got a message from Lex Luthor? It was about his hat or something. Anyway, there’s a river behind the mansion – Luthor’s mansion. I thought it would be a tributary of Gotham River, but it’s not.”

“Arthur. I’m busy.”

“With what?”

“Tomorrow’s meeting. I’ve been looking into the background of the guy who designed the robots. If I can get some information on his other projects, my suspicions might be confirmed.”

“What robots?”

Bruce waved a hand at him. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

“What about the thing I wanted to talk to you about?”

“Get it out, then.”

“Yeah. So, as I was saying – I heard Luthor talking to some woman. He gave her a shitload of cash to do something.”

Bruce snorted. “That doesn’t surprise me.”

“You know what he’s up to?”

“I can guess.”

Arthur nodded. “Sure. World’s greatest detective.”

“You know what? The rest can wait. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Arthur left Bruce to continue his work in peace. He wasn’t sure about the morning. He’d passed on the little he knew and didn’t think he have much to contribute to a robot investigation.

*

Bruce scanned the faces at the round table in the Hall of Justice. There were six including himself and Alfred.

“Where’s Arthur?”

“Perhaps he is still asleep,” said Alfred. “Should I wake him?”

“No. I’m not waiting for him any more. Right. Let’s keep this brief. The man who designed the robots was a leading university researcher, but he resigned at what was probably the peak of his career. It looks like he was forced to resign. The robot attack may have been intended out of bitterness or revenge. If that is the case, he may have planted a similar attack in another design he was working on at around the same time.”

“How sure are you that he is guilty?” asked Clark.

Bruce grimaced. “Not very. That’s why I propose we go to see him in person. He lives in the suburbs of Montreal. Clark and I will go. Meanwhile, Diana, you can rummage about the university and talk to a few people.”

“But a second attack could happen at any time,” said Diana.

“I’ve located the factory where the new design is being built. Cyborg, I want you there. You can take the Flash with you.”

“No.”

“You’re not taking it down by yourself. Just see if there’s anything potentially dangerous in the code. Then call us if there is.”

“I mean I am not taking him.”

“I can take myself there. It’s okay,” said Barry, grinning.

“What principles did you found the league on, Batman?” asked Victor. “Justice, yes. Respect, perhaps? And trust? I won’t work with someone I can’t trust.”

“What exactly is the problem here?”

“Ask him,” replied Victor, glaring at Barry. “Ask him where he was last night.”

“I got a call from the prison where my dad is. They said he was really sick,” said Barry in a small voice. “Sorry I didn’t get to tell you, Vic.”

“Oh, that’s why you were gone for hours, is it? To check up on him? Did you have a long commute? Did you get stuck in traffic? DON’T LIE TO ME! I saw you at Luthor Mansion with a woman.”

Barry shook his head nervously. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Right. Innocent little Barry. I thought so too until last night. I thought that you and I were the same – both fresh out of school, inexperienced, just trying to make sense of the world. You’re none of that. You’re sleeping with other people behind my back!”

“No! No, that’s not true.”

“If you can’t admit to that, how can we trust anything you say? Well, I’ll make sure that everyone knows what you are – a cheater and a slut.”

There were tears in Barry’s eyes. Bruce stood up. “Enough! We are not here to listen to this nonsense.”

“I know you don’t want to believe it, Bruce. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen him for myself,” said Diana.

Bruce said slowly and levelly, “Whoever refuses to work with another member of this team should damn well leave now.”

Victor got out of his chair. “Let’s go, Diana.” Diana looked at Bruce sadly for a moment and went with him.

Barry was shaking and more tears were spilling down his cheeks. Alfred went to him and put a hand on his shoulder. Barry looked at Bruce and Clark appealingly. “I would never do that to him. I promise.”

“Did you tell anybody that you were going to visit your father last night?” asked Clark.

“Th-they said it was pneumonia. I was scared. I left straight away.” 

“And what woman were they talking about?”

“No idea. You’d have to ask them.”

“You don’t need to defend yourself, Barry. Those two will regret ever stepping foot in this place,” said Bruce darkly.

“Make them regret the accusation,” returned Alfred. “The Justice League means as much to them as it does to you – maybe even more. Tell them that Mr Allen was so hurt that he left of his own accord. They’ll soon feel the loss. No one else can move through time and dimension, create electricity or move at the speed of light. Not even you, sir.” He raised his eyebrows at Clark.

“Should I actually leave?” asked Barry heavily.

“You’ll just need to hide away for a little while. Come with me. I’ll whip you up a big pot of tea and some brownies.”

Alfred guided Barry by the elbow out to a side corridor. Bruce watched them go with a face like thunder. 

Clark got up from the table. “Bruce? Are you alright?”

“No.”

“They’re wrong. I’m sure of it.”

“They’re out of their fucking minds. I mean, Barry – of all people – a liar and a cheat? What do they think they have to gain by making such a malicious accusation?”

“Let me help. I’ll find something that can back him up.”

“That’s not your business.”

Clark strode towards him and gently turned him around by the shoulder. “There is nothing on this planet I love more than you. Isn’t that strange?”

“Why should that be strange? Would it be strange if I said I loved you? Stranger things have already been said today and those were harder to hear. God, poor Barry.”

Clark grabbed him by the wrists and held him still. “You do love me. Admit it.”

“I was just about to, but you interrupted me.” Bruce made a futile attempt to pull his hands away.

“Go on, then.”

“I love you – so much that it hurts. And it hurts to admit _that_.”

Clark pulled him close and kissed him. “I would do anything for you.”

“Kill the Cyborg.”

Clark released him and took two steps back. “No way.”

“Then you don’t love me. Get out.”

“There must have been a mistake. Diana is the most honourable person I know and Victor is a good kid.”

“A GOOD KID? I invite him to my house to be part of a team that is the best of the best, he tells everyone that he’s in love, throwing everyone’s professionalism out the window for a day. Then, when we finally get down to work, he shows up here and rips Barry’s heart out. Barry, who has spent half his life trying to defend his father from a false accusation. BARRY WHO HAS NO ONE!” Bruce picked up a chair and threw it across the room. It shattered against the wall. “IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL A GOOD KID?”

“You really think it’s what he deserves?” said Clark quietly.

“If I had your powers, I would break every plate and bolt in his body.”

“Fine. I’ll challenge him.”


	5. Man is a giddy thing

Arthur came down the stairs, pulling an old creased shirt over his torso. Alfred was waiting for him at the bottom.

“Good day, sir. Would you like breakfast or will you wait an hour until lunch?”

“Uh. Breakfast,” Arthur did up two of the buttons and smoothed out the creases with his hands. “So, how was the meeting? Bruce tell everyone about Luthor plotting against us?”

Alfred tilted his head. “No, he did not.”

“He said he knew about it? Luthor paying some woman to do something, and Wonder Woman and Cyborg saw it? He wants to break up the Justice League.”

“At the meeting, sir, Mr Stone accused Mr Allen of cheating on him and refused to work with him.”

The two men stared at each other.

“Fuck’s sake,” said Arthur. “Forget breakfast. I have to be somewhere.” He sprinted off down the hall.

*

Victor was ready to leave Wayne Manor at once, but Diana couldn’t bear to abandon the cause she had come for. They just had to wait long enough for the high emotions of the meeting to die down, so that she could have a civil conversation with Bruce to decide who was going to take over the mission.

In the meantime they hung around the ornamental gardens at the front of the house. Clark came out, his cape billowing behind him, and Victor rose to meet him.

“Here’s our friend, at last!” 

“We’ve been wondering where you were,” said Diana.

“But we can guess who you’ve been with,” Victor replied.

“Do you think you can grow up for a minute so I can have a private word with you?” 

There was a hard expression on Clark’s face. Victor stepped around to the other side of a large fox-shaped hedge with him.

Clark bent his head close to Victor’s. “That was really low thing you did this morning, you know that? Humiliating Barry in front of everyone while his dad’s sick in prison.”

“Me? You’re blaming me for what he did to me?”

“Yeah. I am, because I don’t think you’ve got your story right. He was so upset by what you said to him that he volunteered to leave the league, so that you and Diana could stay.”

“Guess that was his guilt talking.”

Clark grabbed him by the neck and lifted him into the air. “He’s gone back to Fallville. He hasn’t even got a place to go to – he was squatting before, as you might know, until he was caught by the police. You can imagine where he’ll end up if he’s caught again.”

“Put him down, Kal!” called Diana.

“Let me put it like this – you will go and find Barry, apologise to him and talk about whatever you think you saw, as if you had a bit of integrity in you. If not, we can discuss a time and a place, a means and an end, and I’ll meet you there,” Clark let go of Victor’s neck and Victor crashed into a flowerbed. 

Clark lowered himself to the ground and said to Diana, “I won’t be accompanying you on any more missions.”

In one leap he was over the other side of the great manor.

Victor pulled himself up and rescrewed a bolt in his knee. “I think he means what he says.”

“I’ll bet you Batman put him up to it.”

They heard a yell to their right. Storming up the driveway was Arthur, dragging a soaked, squirming Lex Luthor by his collar. Diana and Victor ran to him.

“Arthur, what are you doing with him?”

Arthur stopped and shook Luthor. “Look them in the eye and tell them what you’ve done!” Luthor was almost blue in the face but he looked at Victor with a smirk. Arthur shook him again. “I’d wipe that smile off your face or we’ll do it for you.”

“What has he done?” asked Diana.

“He’s not our friend. He’s a villain. He’s been trying to break up the league all along.”

Diana addressed Luthor. “What is he talking about? What have you done?”

“It was so easy,” said Luthor. “You’re so guillable. All of you. Especially him.” His eyes gleamed at Victor.

“TELL THEM WHAT HAPPENED OR YOU’LL GO BACK IN THE LAKE!” roared Arthur.

“Last night you stood outside my house,” said Luthor breathily. “You saw my assistant at the window. She was with a man in a red suit. I bought that suit. I had it made to look like the Flash’s suit.”

Victor’s eyes widened. “You’re saying – you mean –”

“It wasn’t the Flash you saw.”

“Oh. Oh no…Barry.”

Diana glared at Luthor, balled her fist and slammed it into his face. Arthur released his grip on Luthor and let him collapse onto the floor.

“Very well done, all of you,” Alfred was watching them from the steps, but there was not a trace of a smile on him. “So, this is the man who has lost us one of our great heroes. But he had two pairs of helping hands.”

Victor went to Alfred and said solemnly, “I’ll bring him back from Fallville. I’ll persuade him however I can. I don’t expect any of you to forgive me, but let me try to make it up a little.”

“I don’t think that will work. I’ll tell you what you can do – come to the hall tomorrow morning at 9 o’clock. Master Wayne has recruited a new member for the team. You can be his mentor.”

“I’ll be there. Thank you. Thanks for giving me another chance.”

Diana lifted the unconscious Lex Luthor over her shoulder. “I think Batman will want to see to him.”

*

Clark crossed out a word on his notepad and penciled in another. “What rhymes with ‘maybe’?” he muttered to himself. “Baby?” He shook his head.

Newspaper articles were easy, with their short, blunt prose. Poetry was translating incomprehensible feelings into incomprehensible language. Perhaps his piece would work better as a song. He cleared his throat and picked a tune.

“Though you are a shadow in the night,  
Your eyes fill my heart with light–”

“What are you doing?”

Bruce was standing in the doorway. Clark scrunched up the piece of paper and stuffed it down the side of the sofa. “Nothing important. How are you? How is Barry?”

“Could be better,” Bruce sat down next to him. “So, did you see Cyborg?”

“Yes, and I said I’d fight him if he didn’t apologise to Barry. And I deserve a kiss for that.”

Bruce pressed a finger to Clark’s lips. “So you didn’t actually fight him.”

“You’re a tease,” Clark kissed Bruce’s finger. “I did give him quite a shock. I think he’ll do as I said.”

Bruce rested his hand on Clark’s leg and leaned into him. Clark met his lips and kissed him deeply. 

“I heard you’ve been pacing your room all night thinking of me,” he murmured.

Bruce pulled back and narrowed his eyes. “Who told you that?”

“Alfred, Diana, Victor. But they didn’t tell me. I overheard them,” A look of clarity spread across Bruce’s face. “What is it?”

“They’ve been playing games with us.”

Alfred scuttled into the room and said urgently, “Master Wayne, it’s been proven that Barry was not at Luthor Mansion last night. Wonder Woman and Cyborg were tricked by Lex Luthor himself. He’s unconscious in the Batcave now and I suggest you decide what to do with him before he wakes up.”

Alfred hurried out again. Bruce squeezed Clark’s hand. “I’m going to make him shit his pants. Want to come?”

*

Clark and Arthur were sitting at the round table when Victor arrived at the hall with Diana, and Alfred was standing nearby.

Victor’s chest lurched at the thought that Barry should have been with them. He promised himself that he would do whatever Batman wanted with the new recruit, and start a search for Barry immediately after. Perhaps Alfred was wrong. Perhaps Barry could be persuaded to return, and perhaps one day he would even forgive Victor.

“Good morning, Ms Prince, Mr Stone,” said Alfred. “Are you ready to be part of the Justice League again?”

Victor nodded.

“Only if they want us on the team too,” said Diana at Clark.

“I do, on the condition that you won’t mock me for going against what I said when we first arrived here.” Diana gave him a puzzled smile, and Clark smirked at her.

Batman came through, followed by a man in an electric blue suit and mask. 

Victor held his hand out to the newcomer. “Welcome to the team.”

“He should be saying that to you,” replied Bruce.

“Fine,” Victor bowed his head. “I’d like to rejoin the Justice League. I’ll do my best to support my fellow members and, er, not let my emotions cloud my judgement.”

“I’m really glad you said that,” The man lifted his helmet. It was Barry. 

“You’re back!”

“I never really left. Except in spirit, while you hated me.”

“I never hated you,” Victor stepped forwards and held Barry by the arms. “I was mad at you because I was so in love with you and I didn’t think you felt the same about me.”

“But I do. I love you too.” Barry cupped Victor’s face and kissed him.

“Wonderful,” Bruce made a gesture towards the table. “Now let’s get to business.”

Clark stood up. “Wait a moment, I have something to say,” He looked at Bruce. “Is it true that you love me?”

“No,” replied Bruce nonchalantly. “No more than as a friend.”

“Well, your butler, and Diana and Victor seem to have deceived themselves, because they said you did.”

“Don’t you love me?”

“Of course not – except as a friend.”

“Then Barry and Arthur must be deluded, because they swore you were dead set on me.”

“You two aren’t fooling anyone,” said Diana.

Victor straightened out a ball of paper and gave it to Bruce. “Here’s proof of it – the worst poem I’ve ever read, written in Superman’s handwriting, to Batman.”

“And here’s another,” Barry took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Clark. “A sickeningly sweet letter stolen from Batman’s nightstand, all about his admiration for the Superman.”

Bruce’s face screwed up as he read the poem. “Wow, this is horrible. I guess I will have you, because I’m just feeling sorry for you at this point.”

“Yeah?” said Clark. “I’ll accept, because it’ll save you face if anyone else finds out about _this_.” He waved the letter.

“Two relationships on the team,” said Diana, drawing a chair from the table. “Makes for quite some distraction, wouldn’t you say?”

Clark resumed his seat with her. “If it does, you only have yourself to blame.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Diana and Victor are actually my favs, so it hurt to make them sort of the bad guys >.<; But it worked out for everyone... except Luthor.
> 
> Feedback is very much appreciated, so please leave a comment with your thoughts x


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